I like to think about board meetings- no pun intended. Especially ones that revolve around creating a product or a commercial. I find advertisements and marketing to be a fascinating world about which I know basically nothing. And I like that I know nothing about it, because it allows my imagination a little bit of wiggle room that it doesn’t have in such areas as, say, seedless vascular plants or centripetal force (a few of my favorites, really). I recommend you try this at home…
So you’re watching tv and a commercial comes on about something COMPLETELY USELESS. Not just mildly useless, like an utterly disgusting waste of materials. Like a canine genealogy kit (that exists- I saw it in a Skymall catalog). Or an oversized, stuffed replica of a church organ. First of all, someone made that product and honestly thought that it would fill a missing niche in the economy. Secondly, a meeting must have ensued to debate the possibilities for advertising said product. There were probably around 8 people there. It was a Friday so it was dress-casual day at the office. Everyone was really excited for this meeting because the older man who created this product, Norman, really likes to bring in those large jugs of popcorn with the three different sections organized by flavor- the popcorn triumvirate if you will- whenever he presents a new product. No one likes the spicy popcorn, that section always goes last. Anyway, they are all sitting around this table and Norman walks in hands full of popcorn jug, stuffed church organ replica, and a briefcase that probably cost him all of what he made on his last product- the oversized, stuffed sitar (of course). Norman is so excited that he is almost hyperventilating. It’s embarrassing for everyone. Especially Linda from HR.
The conversation begins- loaded with the assumption that this product is actually a necessary and desired piece of artistry. Who is the market audience? Well honestly, who isn’t? Harold chimes in with a brilliant plan. (Harold likes to speak with his hands a lot and is usually far too overzealous about allocating funds to the advertisement of Norman’s products). Picture this: You’ve got two little children (with some impossible representation of diversity that magically blossomed out of two Caucasian parents) sitting in the front row at Sunday School. They are laughing and giggling about the Three Wise Men and sheep and such when suddenly, you pop into little Harold’s head (Harold likes to name these characters after himself which is painfully awkward for everyone else at his company) and see that all he can think about is playing the organ. He is accompanied by a gigantic chorus, going Miles Davis on that thing and everyone loves him. Zoom out, zoom out, zoom out and cut. No explanation necessary, the point is- if you have this product, everyone will love you. Norman is pumped. Harold has accomplished his outlandish, slightly narcissistic rant of the day. And everyone else at the table could not care less.
And THAT is how you sell an oversized, stuffed church organ. Copyright silo 2010.
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